Who Owns the Engagement Ring?

Hopefully, this is a question which you never have to answer but, on occasion engagements do end before making it to the altar. The vexed question is what should the lady do with the ring? Should it be given back or can she keep it, indeed should she keep it?

The most cited legal authority is a Michigan law case, Meyer-v-Mitnick which ruled that the giving of an engagement ring is a "conditional gift", that is the engagement ring is given subject to the condition of the lady receiving it following through on her agreement to the proposal of marriage. If she doesn't follow through with the marriage, then the ring remains the legal property of the man and should be returned. This is subject to numerous caveats though, so we need to clarify.

Where the engagement ring is made on traditional gift giving holidays, typically Christmas but also note Valentine's Day, then the engagement ring immediately becomes the legal property of the woman receiving it irrespective of whether the marriage takes place.

There is also a "no fault" doctrine which has taken root in many states, and where the engagement is broken off by the man, then it is he who has created a situation where the woman cannot possibly fulfil the condition of marriage and so she shall be entitled to retain the ring.

In reality, the chances of ending up in court arguing over who owns the ring are relatively slim; no-one wants to engage in an acrimonious legal dispute as part of the autopsy of a failed relationship, especially one which is so emotionally charged - after all, you both wanted to be married at one point!

The best way to deal with the matter is to talk about it and do what you both feel is best. Traditionally, when an engagement is broken off the engagement ring is offered to be returned by the lady. Sometimes it is simply better for her own feelings and dignity to return the ring no matter what has happened. In some cases, the return of the ring itself is used to tell the man that the engagement has been ended by the woman and this avoids any unpleasantness in disputing who owns what.

For the man involved, an engagement ring can be a very costly item to buy - typically, three months' salary is at stake - so relinquishing any claim to the engagement ring is something to take a very hard swallow over. Again, it is probably better to apply some sense of proportion to the issue because the cost of an engagement ring is dwarfed in comparison to the cost of a failed marriage. If the engagement has ended, sacrificing the investment in an engagement ring is nothing compared to the division of assets during a divorce. In this respect, the cost of an engagement ring is a cheap price to pay for the emotional and financial distress created by taking the wrong course of action over a marriage.

Overall, the best way to proceed is to discuss this with no set objectives and an open mind. This may not be possible, but the sooner the emotional aspects are dealt with the sooner everyone can get on with their lives and hopefully, find happiness elsewhere.

By Jill Renee, President of DanforthDiamond.com, a leading authority on diamonds, engagement rings and wedding rings. Danforth Diamond provides wisdom and advice to help you choose the right ring at the right price. Visit DanforthDiamond.com or call 877.404.RING

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